dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize