I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
