i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
