Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize