whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have demons in me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
