Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
