My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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