I like to think it a success when the cops are called
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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