she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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