I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
