I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
