so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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