I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
