Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
