His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
