READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
