apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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