how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
