...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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