My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
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Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize