What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Text me some of your sweat
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
