Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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