Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
