Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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