Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
