Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
