Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
