And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
