do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
