Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
