I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
