Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
