Small penises have feelings too.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
