I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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