i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm passing your future prison.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize