I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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