I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
