just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
