at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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