My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
