garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
