They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
