he wants to bone in the snuggie
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
