the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
