am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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