i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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