is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
