Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it was like eating out sand paper
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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