my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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