problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
