so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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