quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
