So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
wow bdsm is so cute
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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