They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock deserves a montage
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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