so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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