Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
