aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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