You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
