Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why did my mother make you get naked?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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