so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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