one word: firstdatebathroomanal
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
