You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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